In a recent episode we spent some time talking about whether or not we care what people think of us. On some level, we all let the words of others affect us and it's important to recognize it, accept it, and then process it. Closely related to this is the necessary task of living a life of balance. So many of us go through extremes: ups and downs, feast and famine, rest and overwork. In this episode we’ll spend some time exploring how balance is essential for our professional side as well as our let-loose side.
The image used for the banner in this episode is one of many, many pictures depicting a hobby known as Rock Balancing. Clever name, I know. This image shows pretty standard layering of rocks, but there are some artists who seriously excel in this craft. It becomes less of a hobby and more of a discipline, requiring patience and creativity. To see some incredible sculptures, search the Internet for Michael Grab.
Whether you’re into rock balancing or some other hobby, there is this unspoken realization that the more you practice that hobby, the better you get at it. It can be so fun or so interesting, however, that it begins to consume you. Brian uses the example of video gaming, but it’s not exclusive to that. My hobby is writing, and when I let myself get lost in a new story, it becomes all I want to do. I start ignoring my family, friends, and my daily responsibilities start backlogging.
Sometimes in order to complete a project well, you really do have to throw yourself into it entirely. And in the realm of creativity, that is OK! What we’re addressing in this episode isn’t a criticism of focusing your artistic mind, but drawing attention to the fact that when something, anything, becomes all consuming so that other essential and important aspects of life get ignored, it might require us to pull back, refocus, distribute our attention, and then dive back in.
It's that time of the week, again. Hump day is over and done. That awkward day between hump day and the weekend is also gone. Which can only mean that it's SUPERHERO FRIDAY and we have a podcast ready for you to enjoy. Thanks, once again, to the faithful Nightfox for his wonderful presence on The Real Brian Show. We hope you all have a fantastic weekend!
Represent yourself! In this episode, Antonio Centeno joins Brian to discuss personal branding. He has a fascinating backstory, from a U.S. Marine to Philosophy major at Cornell to an entrepreneur, Antonio now finds himself in the niche of a lifestyle and business coach, His approach to personal branding is not outlandish, it's not absurdly expensive, it's actually based on a very customizable approach to dressing: Find It, Own It. By establishing some basic parameters, like wearing clothes that fit, Antonio demonstrates that transitioning into a person brand isn't all that difficult.
Antonio Centeno is the founder of Real Men Real Style and a co-founder of Menfluential, a men's lifestyle and business conference. He has created thousands of articles & videos on men's style and is the creator of the internet's best style course for professionals - The Personal Image Blueprint.
Though Antonio's advice is geared mostly toward men, a lot of the principles he defines are excellent advice to both men and women. Perhaps most of his videos, like What Does Your Facial Hair Signal and 20 Things Men Should Never Wear, aren't exactly translatable between genders, but his tips extend beyond specifically dressing better. Antonio has a ton of resources around communication skills, traveling, and, most significantly mindset (like How To Reset A Bad Day). Go check out his website! NOW!
Happy Superhero Friday! The Nightfox joins the Real Brian to end your week in style and to provide a very important rule of thumb: don't kiss your chickens. It is hypothesized that the chicken was first domesticated to be used for cockfights, not for food. Since there are 25 billion of them in the world, making them the most populous bird of any species, we suppose there's enough to accomplish both now. We've got a great lineup for you today, some real stories about road rage and reviews of video games like Ghost Recon: Wildlands and Diablo 3, so sit back and enjoy the ride!
It's that time of year... time for the summer blockbusters! Wonder Woman and Transformers have nearly already left screens, but now we have Spider-Man and Valerian coming out! We'll be watching these in the next week, so if you plan to do the same, why not write in and give us your reaction?
What movie is on your hotlist this summer?
From heartache and confusion comes an incredible legacy of kindness and goodness. Suzanne Miller shares the powerful story of her daughter's impactful life and how the concept Do A Liz Thing came about. We're so excited to share this interview with you because of what a great reminder it is on how simple showing kindness can be. By taking the focus off of ourselves and projecting our attention outward, we can unwittingly (or wittingly) touch someone else's life.
Sharing our random acts of kindness can sometimes feel like we're patting ourselves on the back or getting a high off how great we are for being nice, but Suzanne Miller and her family turned it into a mode of encouragement. After her daughter's death, the Miller family received hundreds of letters from people they'd never met who described very detailed, particular stories about how Liz touched their life. Liz was an encouragement, a blessing, and a miracle to every life she touched.
Doing a Liz Thing doesn't mean bragging about the kind thing you did, but actually doing the kind thing. The Facebook page Suzanne and her family set up is an opportunity for people to humbly share how they helped someone in need in order to encourage others to do the same.
Nightfox and Shear Terror return to the Real Brian Show for a Superhero Friday installment that is as quaquaversal as 4th of July Fireworks. Also in this episode we introduce you to the girl next door, Red Banshee, who adds a great flavor to the mix! We cover a lot of ground in this episode, ramping up to a holiday here in the United States. As we'll be taking a break next week from your regularly scheduled program, soak it in and get your fix.
While you wait for the next episode, go try a new beverage at a local shoppe near you, then write or call us and tell us about that experience! You'll hear things like avocado latte and coconut beer in this episode, but we know there is more going on out there in the world. Right now, in Minnesota, Ginger Beer and Kombucha are all the rage. Everyone is brewing their own Kombucha, and generally I enjoy it! Ginger beer can be really potent and depending on the brand I often can't drink very much. But it's definitely worth a try if you've never had it.
We talked about rest back in episode 45. Do you make time for rest? Do you give yourself permission to rest? It's a concept that really should be revisited frequently because it is so easy to get and stay busy and far too many people are willing to help you stay busy. Not enough people help you find rest. Seeking out a balance between work and play will likely always be a constant struggle, but our intention isn't to reprimand or shake our fingers! As always we want to draw you back to basic principles that will hopefully provide you with encouragement to make small adjustments in order to reap big benefits.
Much of what Brian talks about in this episode has to do with creating boundaries and then sticking to them. Boundaries are super interesting to me, both in the physical sense and in whatever abstract way we want to think about them.
I want to paint a little picture analogy between physical boundaries and abstract boundaries. When I was growing up, my backyard was full of tall Maple and Elm trees. They were so thick we couldn't see our neighbors behind us. When I was in fifth or sixth grade, my city was hit by a severe straight-line winds storm which took down nearly all of them. We ended up cutting down 22 trees in total. For the first 13 years of my life, the boundary around my house had always been clearly defined by the thick grove of trees.
When that storm hit, the boundary became much less defined. Our house was much more visible and we started to get a lot of unwelcomed traffic through our yard. To alleviate this, my dad put up a fence. It wasn't much of a fence, but it kept people from cutting straight through our yard (and ruining gardens and such). The backyard just felt naked though, and the privacy we felt went way down. A couple years later, my dad trans-planted some pine trees. They were baby ones and were going to take time to grow up... and only now, 15 years later, do they really afford us more privacy.
It is really hard to replace boundaries, you always end up sacrificing something. Had my dad chosen to put up a tall wood fence, like our neighbor did, we would have lost a lot of sunlight to different parts of our yard. We might have experienced some vandalism as well due to where our yard is in the neighborhood. Had we transplanted 22 trees, to replace the ones that had once been there, we would be looking at a decade or two of waiting to regain privacy. And then we had to think about the message we were sending by the type of fence we put up, how tall it was, and all of that. Are they snobs? Are they shut-ins?
When one boundary gets knocked down in our lives, sometimes it can be hard to put it back up or replace it with something else. We try a variety of things that don't entirely feel the same and don't protect us in the same way, and over time we do other things to help support that boundary we've re-established. And sometimes we just choose to live with the way things are because it's more hassle trying to re-do it than to just go with it. But for all these boundaries, when they keep us from experiencing rest, they are not doing their job.
So discard perception. Discard what other people think. Don't be afraid to use boundaries as a means to give yourself rest so that you can give back to other people. Boundaries around a home can help preserve an area and cultivate it to be a thing of beauty and a thing of rest. Boundaries are NOT barricades! When we start thinking of them as such, we lose sight of the purpose boundaries are meant to bring us.
As the world continuously double dips into the status quo, Abel James and The Real Brian are here to tell you that you don't have to settle for that! Demand more and better by going against conformity and put your energy and money toward those things that make this world a better place.
Abel James is a New York Times bestselling author and modern-day Renaissance man. One of America's most trusted names in Health and Performance, he stars as a Celebrity Coach on ABC television and has been featured in People Magazine, WIRED, Entertainment Tonight, and NPR. Abel is host of the #1 podcast in 8+ countries, Fat-Burning Man, Abel has helped millions reclaim their health and perform at their best with cutting-edge science and technology, outdoor adventures, and outrageously good food.
Click here to learn more about Abel James!
Happy Superhero Friday! We hope you had a fantastic week and want to help you kick off the weekend in style. The Real Brian and Nightfox have another anything goes installment for you!
Happy Hump Day! We know how hard the middle of the week can be, but it doesn't have to be. Instead of pumping our bodies with quick fixes like a 5-Hour Energy drink or (if you're me) more and more coffee, let's explore the most natural remedy to sluggishness. Energy drinks or other similar power-ups are like band-aids for a deeper real problem. Our amazing bodies store energy and will inevitably use up what supply they have. If you're not storing energy, then what does your body have to use?
There are seven spectral classes, yellow being smack in the middle. On the low (cold) end is blue and on the high (hot) end is red. We live under a Class G2 star which provides Earth with exactly what it needs to sustain life. I personally do not find this to be a coincidence! The sun has fascinated humans for as long as humans have been humans. It has been worshipped, venerated, studied, contemplated, avoided, sought... but not yet explored. We have a much more complete understanding of the sun now than we ever did, and yet some basic truths don't seem to absorb quite as well as the sun's rays in mid-summer.
Superman's powers develop as a result of absorbing the yellow sun's UV rays. Comic book canon calls it the photonucleic effect. What I love about the story of Superman is that sort of tells an exaggerated story of humans through the lens of this alien with super-human powers. We all have this ability to be different, to set ourselves apart, and to use the natural elements of our world to accomplish great things, and when Superman absorbs the yellow sun he flies and fights to these great heights we can only imagine. But Superman would not be Superman without the yellow sun. In fact, comic book canon makes it very clear that when Superman lives under a red sun (a star so hot that its power is very, very weak) he loses his power.
The sun is a source of life. Without the sun, everything on planet earth would die. But we don't just live on the sun, we need many nutrients and many elements and neglecting any of them will cause deficiencies. If getting some natural sun has fallen out of your daily routine, add it back in and start to take inventory of your energy levels. Power up!
Welcome back to The Real Brian Show! In this installment, Brian chats with Jodi Flynn, founder of Women Taking the Lead. Brian and Jodi originally connected through Podcaster's Paradise, where he interviewed her in episode 62. In bonding over mindset, attitude, and the importance of communication permeating all aspects of relationships and business, the two have plenty of experiences to share and lessons learned that can help us analyze tough situations.
Jodi Flynn is the Founder of Women Taking the Lead, a podcast and community of ambitious entrepreneurial women who want to go BIG. She works with Type-A women who are already successful but have not yet achieved the level of success they want to achieve. Jodi helps her clients set priorities, get organized, in action and overcoming obstacles so they can achieve their biggest goals with ease. She became an Amazon bestselling author with the release of her book, Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to doing.
Live from Vegas.... it's Superhero Friday! While on location in the city that never sleeps... The Real Brian and Darrell Darnell make the most of it. Instead of sticking to the old adage, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, we're more of the share-everything-and-hope-for-the-best mindset. Help us welcome Darrell Darnell to The Real Brian Show co-host family and have fun with this Superhero Friday installment!
In the course of vocalizing frustrations, it's okay to vent... but complaining without any desire to find a solution can become tiring to everyone around us. In this mid-week espresso shot, let's talk about complaining.
Complaining about a problem without proposing a solution is called whining.
Many people attribute this quote to the late President Theodore Roosevelt. I've never been able to find much evidence of this, but it is very much in line with his p olitics and general philosophy. On April 23, 1910, President Roosevelt gave a speech in Paris, which has since been titled Citizenship in a Republic. It is one of my favorite speeches (alongside Lincoln's Gettysburg Address and Winston Churchill's Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat), because within it we hear these powerful words:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
The two quotes may seem unrelated, but I think there is an underlying component to them that is entirely intrinsic to the discussion about complaining and the call to find solutions. Complaining about a problem, even something we can genuinely characterize as altruistic (i.e. venting), is an expression that bears a negative connotation. It puts us in a state of being dissatisfied and discontent, a state of grievance, in which another entity has more control over the situation than we do and we are at its (or their) mercy.
If portion sizes are small at a restaurant, we complain... because we ordered a meal, built up expectations, and then were disappointed that those expectations (or needs of hunger) were not met. It is by choice that we put ourselves at other people's mercy, either to satisfy our own needs or to hand off jobs we are incapable of doing ourselves, while still maintaining an element of expectancy over the work needing to be done. We are both incapable and opinionated.
The great eye-opening essence of Roosevelt's speech is a reminder that as a free people, as each possessing individual citizenship within a democratic republic, it is our duty to not let our systems evolve from refinement into fastidiousness. Basically, I interpret this to mean that there is something to be said for developing refined systems, ones that run efficiently and in the best interest of all who work for that system's common good; but when the details become more important than the missional objective, we've lost sight of who is actually doing the work.
Complaining is an effect of something deeper than a momentary problem. It is a culmination of frustration that should have been tackled earlier. My personal objective in life is to vocalize disagreements when they arise in a way that encourages discussion about an approach to a problem instead of letting those disagreements build up and, over time, develop into complaints about the way things are being run. I don't want to be a whiner, and I don't want to constantly be the voice of dissent, but I am not doing myself any good, nor those around me, by letting my disagreements fester and, perhaps, spread to others.
In this installment of Anything Goes, the creative and lively Megan joins Brian and Nightfox! We quickly dub Morgan with a proper super hero name and learn that she is all about justice, but will also fight dirty. And thus, Shear Terror is born! So from prank calls to haircuts, we're just a couple of friends sitting around and having a conversation....asking you to come along for the ride! Along the way we definitely provide you with 13 reasons Morgan belongs on this podcast.
Emily Moberly is the founder and CEO of Traveling Stories, a 501c3 nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids fall in love with reading by the 4th grade. Since 2010 Emily and her team have established eight international libraries and six StoryTent literacy programs in Southern California. More than 6,400 children improve their reading skills through Traveling Stories programs each year. For her work with Traveling Stories, Emily was named one of the “Top 10 Female Entrepreneurs to Watch in San Diego” by Forbes Magazine; Microsoft featured her in their Do More campaign; 10 News and LEAD San Diego awarded her a Leadership Award and in 2015, San Diego Magazine named her a finalist for the San Diego Woman of the Year award. In addition, the San Diego Business Journal named her a finalist for the Women Who Mean Business Awards in 2012 and 2015.
Happy Superhero Friday! What did you think of the first week in the new format? We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment below or connect with us. We're excited to have Camron, the Nightfox, on board with us and proudly present another installment of Anything Goes where our conversation is chock full of all our favorite things. And we'll explain why we're being pollinated by gnats. Maybe.
In the first grade I went to the nurse and told her I had rat bites. My embarrassed mother had to clarify: no, no... she has gnat bites. Far less severe. As much as I love words now, I wasn't always proficient at wielding them. I couldn't rhyme, I mixed up words and I mixed up sounds within a word (i.e. kitchen = chicken, couch = chouc). My family loves to remind me of this, but it never stopped me from using words or becoming better at using them! Getting teased for something you may already be self-conscious of can be brutal, and it can make it difficult to try and overcome those embarrassments, but if you love it... press on and do what you do!
Time for your mid-week espresso shot! There are a couple interesting facts about espresso that speak profoundly into what we want to do with this weekly installment, but I just want to highlight the most important one.
Espresso is brewed by forcing nearly boiling water through coffee beans that are ground very fine. It results in a beverage that is thicker than coffee and, thus, has a higher ratio of caffeine per unit (though less than a regular cup of coffee).
We want to give you a small, but powerful, energizing burst in the middle of your week! There may be less content than a full episode, but sometimes circumstances call for a delicacy, like espresso.
“Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”
-- Francis Chan
Bearing the pain of failure is enough to make anyone curl up into a ball and waste away evenings clutching a pale of ice cream and binge-watching LOST for the 16th time, but, frankly, failure is part of life. Failure, when left to sit and wallow in its own misery, is useless and meaningless as any other unfortunate circumstance. But failure, when reflected upon and repurposed into lessons that came from a circumstance that was not successful, can make it hurt less. And every time we repurpose failure it hurts less.
Oh, sometimes, no matter how prepared we are, it still hurts as much as it ever did. But like most of what we talk about on The Real Brian Show, approaching every situation with the right attitude and a trained mindset of positive thinking and serenity enables us to rise above our perceived failures. We can turn non-successes into opportunities for growth.
But what about the other side of this? What about the emptiness that comes from succeeding at things that don't matter while the true goals, the true ambitions, lie dormant? Fearing failure is easy because it is obvious and sometimes really serious, and it's become clearer to me in recent years how ready I am to allow the most obvious fears to take hold of me. Is failing worse than never trying? It's definitely something I struggle with, trying to evaluate whether taking a risk and failing is worth potentially giving up a hobby that brings me a lot of joy. When I break it down, it seems pretty irrational, but fear is irrational.
The day I knock it into my own head to quit pursuing those things that don't matter... I'll let you know.
Brian and Nightfox hit the ground running in this first Tuesday installment EVER! Each week you'll get a double dose of this dynamic duo, bringing on the discussions of relevant entertainment and life. We'll get crazy, we'll get serious, and, heck, we'll get crazy serious. Buckle up.
Podcasts are a living organism. As we go on this journey, looking to encourage one another and experience life together, changes will occur. Socrates once said that the secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. The last few months have given us great insight into what works, what doesn't; what is fun, what is status quo; what is entertaining, what is... not. In this update, Brian will share about what we can expect moving forward and all the fun stuff that lies in our future!
The biggest, and bestest, change is that we'll be adding Camron (Nightfox) to our regularly scheduled program. He'll join Brian on Tuesdays and Fridays for a double dose of anything goes.
We're excited for this new path and hope you'll find yourselves as divergent and non-conformist as we are!
In this installment of Superhero Friday, we welcome Whitney (aka Positive Entropy) back to the show! You'll remember Whitney from the St Patrick's Day episode when we talked about all sorts of wonderful Irish things and, of course, Happy Lucky's Tea. Today, Whitney is running the show... so we'll have a lot of surprises and some really good discussions!
Happy Superhero Friday! We are thrilled to welcome Kevin Bachelder to the show, a podcaster with whom both Brian and I go way back with (Brian longer than I). We met Kevin during our time at TV Talk, where he and Brian started an Arrow podcast, which they brought over to Golden Spiral Media and added me to the fray. Kevin's adventures in podcasting have led him around the sci-fi/fantasy world, from his long-standing podcast Tuning into Sci Fi to his newer podcast for Wynonna Earp.
Every conversation with Kevin really is tuning into sci fi (cue drum beats). In all seriousness, this guy knows his science fiction and fantasy, both TV and film, and is a wealth of knowledge, making him a huge asset in his many circles. From his heavy involvement in DragonCon to his passion for rallying fans around new and exciting television adventures, he has found an amazing niche in the podcasting world.
In continuing the discussion of mindset and attitude, we're here today encouraging you to choose a positive, healthy approach to your life. The first step to dominating your circumstances is to not let them rule over you, don't let them win!
Dominate... to exercise control over or have a commanding influence. We use the word to describe competitions in which one person or team won decisively over another, in which case it is either positive or negative depending on which side you're rooting for. But the Latin root of dominate, dominus, literally means lord or master, ruler or governor, and as such can be purported in contexts that denote a more master/slave connotation.
Set aside preconceived notions about domination for a moment and think objectively about what the implications are of being dominate over another person, team or nation. To dominate means to command, to run the table. Winning decisively is not the end of the mission, it is only the beginning. Dominating our circumstances requires constant vigilance to attitude and mindset, seeking positivity and contentment as the fuel for healthy living.
Develop a good habit this week! Go for a twenty minute walk everyday; appreciate something new over your morning cup of coffee.
Happy Superhero Friday! This week Jess joins Brian for another epic, anything-goes discussion. Jess is often better known by her alter-ego, Harley Quinn. We had the amazing opportunity to meet Jess in Atlanta for Dragon Con a couple years ago and have enjoyed an awesome podcast relationship with her. When you're through listening to this episode of The Real Brian Show, go check out her Legends of Tomorrow podcast (link below).
Whether the struggle and pain we face manifests itself in a visible physical ailment, or it is something less obvious, simply not talking about it doesn't make it not real or not prevalent. The topic brought forward for discussion in this installment of the Real Brian Show addresses the idea that in order to be a genuine leader, you must be willing to be vulnerable with weakness. In other words, you must walk with a limp.
Never trust a leader who doesn't walk with a limp.
Dr. J. Robert Clinton
The most populate teaching method is using illustrations. Political leaders do it, religious leaders do it, motivational leaders do it. It's the easiest way to relate complex idealisms in an accessible way. So by default, people are primed and ready to be taught through illustrations. Sometimes it is most impactful to tell stories about people you've encountered who overcame incredible obstacles or accomplished impossible feats because it describes something far outside what you'd ever experience. But pain and struggle is unique and relative to each person.
In leadership, this becomes particularly important because a leader is someone who commands or moves someone else (or a group of people) forward. Being in that position, then, requires trust from the people you are taking charge of. Whether you are leading a troupe of soldiers, leading a horse by his reigns, or leading a discussion about a sensitive topic, the people (or horse) who are looking to you must be able to trust you in order for the outcome to yield positive results. It seems kinda straightforward, right?
Many times it seems that we don't want people to see our limps because it'll too greatly expose our weaknesses. Being honest about our limp(s) requires a great deal of vulnerability and confidence, but talking about it and being up front with it doesn't make us weak... it makes us trust worthy because it reveals the genuineness of human nature. Nobody is perfect, so pretending like we are doesn't make us perfect, it makes us a fraud.
So don't be a fraud! Look to the leaders you respect most and do a little inventory of what it is they do best and how they are able to influence (or make an impact) your life. How is their vulnerability, humility and transparency inspiring to you?
Join in the conversation by leaving a comment below!