In this installment of The Monday Experience, Brian digs his fingers into the very real world of bullying. Bullying doesn't stop as we grow old; it changes, perhaps becoming more sophisticated or less overt (or not), but bullying does not discriminate by age. He takes a little time to lay out his definition of bully so that it might draw out what bullies might exist in our lives and give us a chance to get out in front of that bully.
bully (v): "use superior strength or influence to intimidate, typically in an effort to impose a will"
The word bully exists in two forms, as the noun (the person or entity that forcefully imposes their will on a weaker subject) and as a verb (the act of utilizing superior strength to forcefully impose that will). Back when I used to do the Stuff I Learned Yesterday podcast at Golden Spiral Media, I would often throw out a word-of-the-day at the top of my installment because I believe in the importance of understanding terms in order to properly talk about something. The truth is, bullies come in many shapes and forms... and we lose significant ground toward overcoming bullies when we make believe that someone or something is not a bully because they don't fit a classic stereotype.
Every bully has a different purpose. They each want something different, they're each driven by a different insecurity or developed an ineffective approach to getting work done. In addition to clearly defining what a bully is, it's helpful to take it a step further and put more definition around the bully in your life. Get specific, even to the point of trying to determine why you have become their victim.
Sometimes this level of introspection can be intimidating, because it's hard to admit some of our most poignant weaknesses, but I am a firm believer in naming my demons. When we give names to our weaknesses (or the people that push us down), when we focus and break them down into their core components, they become less enigmatic...and a fuller picture begins to form. And with that fuller picture comes opportunities to take action.
And that's what we're encouraging you to do here today! Take action against bullies. Sometimes fighting back is as simple as understanding the situation and standing up to someone, or something, that is trying to take advantage of you. Furthermore, be nice to yourself and stop the negative self-talk! If you do this analysis and determine that you are your own bully, stop it!
Yes, we know. It's not that easy. But we're here for you, we're a community here. So let us help!